Sunday, December 19, 2010

Where is the line of a sibling?

In my mind, Trajan still has two siblings. But, where is the line? While I think I would acknowledge a miscarriage, they would have a different category in my mind than siblings I think. I don't know if it would be because we didn't know gender or because they were early enough to not have to be delivered or because a death certificate was not needed or what.

Random thought one: needing a death certificate when there will never be a birth certificate.

Random thought number two: I am still much better at "he and she" or "A and B". I don't do names. I know I should, but I don't.

I think part of what helps to make it perfectly clear to me that they had a sibling is these two shared a womb. Wombmates used to be one of the jokes that amused me. Chiron remains a twin on all the hospital forms rather than a singleton. It's just he's our single twin. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I commented that I'd never really thought of the word singleton. Before all "this" happened, I'd never thought of a single twin.

I don't know what the point of this is. I was just thinking about the info sheet they have you fill out in the obstetricians which is number of pregnancies, number of life births, number of still births etc. and it now makes more sense why they have to have each explicit category.

I do think Aurelia is their sister, but I imagine my answer to the question in passing, rather than detailed conversation, of how many children we have will be two. Sometimes it's easier to take the slight pang in the heart than to open up the guard on it all.

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