Thursday, November 8, 2012

Veteran's Day

I doubt I'll ever be good at Veterans Day. It really kind of ticks me off irrationally that I intentionally avoided noting the exact days until it registered that Veterans Day is the same date each year.

I know it's bad and wrong to dislike Veterans Day, but I do.

Going to Trajan's Veterans Day assembly tomorrow though because I go each Friday. And it's important that I go each Friday. I will likely bring Chiron along in the ergo. How can it be that just two years ago I was 24 weeks pregnant with both him and Aurelia moving and grooving?

I have said it before, but I wouldn't undo her existence. I think it has made me a better person. But if you gave me the power to make an impossible wish, as Trajan dubbed it, come true? Yes, I would rather she had lived and we had known her alive and outside my body.

It's a bit more complicated process as I feel confident we wouldn't have Aletheia and Ari if Aurelia had lived as I wouldn't have stopped breastfeeding entirely when Chiron was moved to prescription formula, but my approach is the compartmentalization of each question. I want them all. Greedy soul.

So, I'm sorry I still have thus Veterans Day hangup. I'm really quite good over all and I'm betting the veterans will forgive me this quirk.

And have I mentioned, sometimes I'm completely floored by how completely and with my whole being I love these kids. I'm not sure I thought I'd be the best parent or whatever in advance, but I really think I've found one of my strengths and a great ability within myself as their mom. Like their firstborn sister, they've all made me a better person.

And the random ramble ends.

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