Chiron has had a murmur since around six weeks of age. This never really worried anyone in the NICU. It’s a grade II or III. The explanation I was given for why they weren’t concerned was the timing of its appearance, relatively late, and the fact that he wasn’t exhibiting other symptoms that would go along with a more concerning murmur.
We were told it was most likely a PPS or a peripheral pulmonary stenosis which occurs in as many as 50% of children and is “innocent”, “benign” and “normal”. This murmur doesn’t even actually occur in the heart as it has to do with the size of the blood vessels that carry blood to the lungs.
No echo was done in the NICU and I was comfortably convinced that it wasn’t an issue we needed to worry about. Got discharged and saw his pediatrician and heard pretty much the same thing. Saw his pediatrician last Friday and nothing was said.
Tuesday, Paul took Chiron into the pediatrician for his Synagis shot and he saw the other doctor while he was there and she heard the murmur and gave us a cardiologist consult. It is scheduled for first thing Monday morning.
My thinking is two-fold in response to this. First response was kind of an argh, lots of people know about it and no one has been worried, so why are you artificially creating stress and worry in my life? And then I wrapped around to a different way of thinking. It concerned me when the murmur occurred. I wanted a definite clear answer. I got to the point that I was comfortable with a “probable” diagnosis based more on elimination and experience, but he was never confirmed as having a PPS. So, now my thought is this will allow us to have an absolute, clear answer on why he has the murmur and we won’t have any lingering uncertainty. If it is a PPS, apparently that doesn’t even need to be marked on dental forms.
So, why am I still a little anxious at the idea of a cardiologist consult?
For full confession, I’m a little anxious about him at other times. Definitely not regularly, but like at times. Like when I hear a story of a kid not getting diagnosed or really showing signs of CP until 6 months or a year. Honestly it’s the possible uncertainty that bothers me the most.
Intellectually I know he has good medical care and we will do what he needs and we are lucky enough to have the family and friend support as well as financial support to confidently know we will be able to do that no matter what form “what he needs” takes, but I still just would rather know. And intellectually I know that multiple doctors have indicated that they don’t expect any long-term issues with him, but who really does expect long-term issues?!?
Side grumble: as I went to type this title into blogspot, typing Hea in the line pulled up Heart and Eggplant.