It's amazing how one little comment can change your attitude and realign your relationship with the world.
A good friend moved to the UK after meeting, marrying and loving an amazing man who happened to be from Manchester. She posted a message on my wall this morning that simply stated: "Did you know that in the UK, today is referred to as "Remembrance Day"?"
Basically the same idea as Veterans Day, but with a different label. And that label got me thinking. Mourning, while perhaps valid, doesn't really do anything good for anyone. Remembering and celebrating just seems so much better.
Remembrance Day also fits with what I've been thinking over the last few days. I at first thought it was very odd that I've been thinking about this recurrence of certain dates when the due date didn't phase me at all. I think it's because they are different. The due date was an arbitrary date. Now there are clues and reminders that take me back. From Halloween to Veteran's Day (going with the US name) with the coming of cool air and the time change. I'm remembering who we were, what we dreamed of and what we experienced.
We return back to the same place around the sun, but I am not the same.
Remembrance to me conveys celebrating the happy, the hopes and the significance that she had. Because while she may never have breathed, she did impact the world. So today is a day of celebration to our daughter. Remembering every single ultrasound resulting in some sort of comment about her beating the heck out of her brother. Remembering laughing about how she was in a typical singleton positioning in the uterus with her brother showed transverse across the top in a position more typically seen in triplet pregnancies. Remembering the dreams and hopes that we dreamed for her.
We sent popcorn to the antepartum and L&D part of the hospital today as part of our remembrance. It's amazing how long it took me to decide what to say on the quick little card. It's easy with the NICU because it's really just about Chiron, but this group of people includes those who cared for Aurelia and all of us while they were still in utero.
I went simply with "thank you for the care you showed Aurelia, Chiron, Trajan, Paul and myself during our time there" and signed it.
So if you have a moment this Remembrance Day, take a second to think of our daughter and join me in a smile for her. I'm glad she existed.