Why does this phrase stick with me so much? It's still true that " I can not do anything more for Aurelia. Period."
My other thought from reviewing this post was that I never wrote down what my real fear was. My real fear was that Chiron would be dead too. That they would go for fetal heart tones or a non-stress test and there would be nothing. I honestly think it was over three weeks before I stopped thinking he was dead everytime they hooked the monitors up (which was several times a day).
I love that he was " galloping like a good centaur".
So, is there such a thing as a normal day-to-day experience type blog with a minor side of dead baby? Is that a field? Or just something to disturb the other dead baby seekers (because of the everyday banalities of the rest of my life) and the normal blog readers (because of said dead baby).
We shall see.
I also love that description of Chiron 'galloping like a good centaur.' I'm glad he was and long may it continue.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, interesting question about the nature of these blogs.
The existence of my blog is predicated on the 'dead baby'-ness of it. I don't think I knew what a blog was before I discovered that particular branch of the blog world and had, sadly, the membership requirement.
I never felt the need to write anything at all prior the birth of my twins. Let alone a 'bearing my soul on the internet in a slightly embarrassing way' kinda affair! But hey, here I am.
I do read several blogs that were normal day-to-day experience type blogs that then changed in nature due to the loss of a baby. So perhaps that makes the dead baby element less integral to the whole venture?
I think you'll find a balance. My blog is half "look at these cupcakes I made" and half "Autism rules my life". But that's pretty much how my real life it too, so its OK.
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