Tuesday, June 21, 2011

See the Flipside

I said it once, but I need to remind myself, Attitude Matters.

I got stuck in meetings and discussions yesterday afternoon at work and so had to leave to pick up the boys having not pumped since noon or one or so.  So, I told Trajan that we would need to pump when we got to the house and then get on with our normal stuff.  He followed this up with a question of why.  I without much thought said something to the effect of "because Chiron likes milk." His response was "yes, but we need to pump more because of the hospital babies, right?  The sick babies need milk and so we pump extra to help them."

Stopped me in my tracks.  I've been whining about pumping, because it's a hassle.  But it took my three-year-old to drive home how important it is.  Not only am I providing Chiron with the food that is supposed to be best for his reflux, but I am also helping multiple preemies and sick infants.  Donor milk can be the difference between life and death due to NEC.  So, thanks Trajan.

Similarly, I've had this odd funk about the fact that Trajan will never have the luxury of just assuming that a pregnancy will be fine.  (Yes, I have been bothered about something my three-year-old might experience whenever he becomes a father.  I never said I wasn't crazy).  Well, I didn't see the flipside of all he has learned from this experience.  That life is precious.  That amazing things can be done.  That science and study are all important. 

My three-year-old declared the other day that there are some things that doctors can not fix.  Not a sentiment that you normally hear from a three-year-old, but it's true.  And I think his awareness of this is good because he also coupled with a statement that showed an understanding of personal responsibility.

So, time to see the good.  To see the magic.  To see what has been learned and achieved and conquered.  It doesn't mean I will not be aware of the sad and the bad, but I want to make a conscious effort to see the flipside.

1 comment:

  1. I've also had the same concern, that my surviving children will grow up in the full knowledge that pregnancies might not work out just fine. I'd never thought of the 'flip side' before, thank you for writing this post.

    You are doing an amazing thing with your pumping. Speaking as a mother who could only just keep ahead of the needs of a baby born weighing less than 2lbs I would have really appreciated the safety net of donor milk, particularly given the horrible consequences of NEC.