Friday, July 22, 2011


I was talking to a friend yesterday morning on google talk.  She's in Africa, so was around for an early morning chat.  She asked something to the effect of how am I and said she had been thinking about me and my family.  My response was:

I've got a good life.. things happen and while I don't have to like them, I've gotta accept 'em
It didn't really strike me at the time, but I noticed later that she had changed her status to this line.  That made me think about it and I think it's true and I think I like it.

I've been bothered recently by something that might seem odd, I've been bothered that I'm not too upset, that I am able to laugh, love, enjoy and even do the day to day banalities of keeping life moving.  But as I think about it, I don't think this is a problem.  I don't think there is anything lacking in me.  It's that rather than being the plot of the movie of my life, Aurelia forms part of the soundtrack.  She's there and will always be there, but as something that has helped to shape me rather than something that has in anyway broken me.  I am more than I was before her.

In the last week or so, four friends have independently either talked about her, written me a note about her or just asked me about her.  I like this.  I think it means that I am strong enough that others can tell that I have her as a part of my life and acknowledging her doesn't hurt me, it just is a part of me.

This is a ramble, so I think I need a conclusion.  She wasn't created and then died to be my angel, to absolve for my sins or in any other way rise above the plane of existence.  She did exist though and she did impact not just myself and my family, but others that connect to us in rings like the currents that spread out from a tsunami.  She mattered and like our family, her story isn't complete, even if she never breathed a breath.

I do have a good life.  I am blessed.  It's not just a question of resiliency, I think it's taking the effort to really appreciate.

Toes are evidence that the world is a wonderful place

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