Apparently I don't know the meaning of moderation. I've always suspected this. What's funny is this is just in my thoughts, I actually end up walking the moderation line pretty well in the real world.
Why am I thinking so much about moderation that I wrote a blog post? Well, because I'm having trouble seeing the middle ground for reproduction. I have a 4-year-old and a 0.5-year-old. I should not be thinking about reproducing right now, but I am.
I made a table that shows everyone's age at different conception dates and at probable due date. I keep thinking of would it be so bad to have them tight?
Intellectually, I think we are best waiting until at least October 2012 to conceive and really this starting June 2013 would be best.
I didn't have this bug with our older son. Didn't even think about getting pregnant again beyond a hypothetical most likely until he was over 2.5.
So, pragmatic? That would be to wait. To completely wait. I mean even to make the decision about having more kids until lets say at least 2013?
Impulsive? Rip out this birth control and see what will be. Knowing that ye olde breastfeeding would buy us some months, but would probably be pretty quick.
I will not do the impulsive. Flat out guaranteed. One, it's irresponsible. To my body, to my spouse, to my children. Two, it's dangerous to the kid if uterus isn't lined well due to birth control.
Honestly, I am so far from impulsive I have reasonable doubt that we will EVER have another. But I hate that idea. It just feels wrong. It's like the picture needs something else.
So, here's the goal. Work on improving competency. Be a better wife, mother, employee and friend. Cook, clean and organize better. Make a world that will be better for another child. Keep at it. Don't worry about the another kid until it's all I can think of. Then deal with it.